Everything changes. Everything is the same.
Sometimes you get surprised. Maybe you let yourself or you honestly just didn't think something would happen. So someone surprises you and you are happy because of it. Or... you are not. You were trotting through life and whatever happened destroyed something that you wished stayed permanent. Then you realize it... nothing is permanent... at least not anymore.
So you think to yourself about the things in your life. You think about your money. You think about your family. You think about your friends. Maybe if it fits… you think about those you love or that love you. You think about your lovers, if there are any. What is it all worth? We are living a life that gets harder and harder to live every day. Or does it?
My life has been getting easier. I have had my share of mishaps, bad circumstances and terrible fallouts. But here is the thing… isn't that just life? I have an often lauded/hated philosophy on life that I still think there are quite a few people that don't understand it… which would make sense in some of the comments I get. I often get knocked by a few people who think they know me that I am uncaring. Or distant. Or disconnected. Insert whatever comment that basically conveys not a part of feeling about a situation. I understand though where this is coming from and it has a lot to do with the misunderstanding of my life's main philosophy.
You ready for this? Life is Life.
Ok… did you double take? Let's take a look at these seemingly simple and unassuming three words that seems to cause so much confusion. Life is what we are living and life is what we have. We will always be living the life we have… Life has been commented on by Buddhist monks to be pain. A comical aside to this is that life is "a bitch". This whole philosophy revolves around this idea… you begin life going into it knowing that so much of it is going to be full of hurt, pain, betrayal, loss and general bad things. You know that. But what this philosophy grants one who subscribes to it is this: if you know something is going to happen… are you surprised when it does?
No you aren't. That has been the crux of this philosophy for me for the last few years. The few times that I have had some heartache and pain has coincidentally also been the same times that I began taking a few steps away from this philosophy. In the last few months, yes, triggered by a certain even that affected me more than I would have liked it to… I have taken very measured steps back towards this philosophy that I truly believe. In true fashion things have leveled out a lot for me. It would seem that the more I think I am caring the more I step away from my philosophy. The more I seem to detach myself, both from the good and the bad… the more things seem to be so much better for me.
You may say… but Brian… doesn't that mean you care less about everything around you? No. I am no less happy or less jovial or less anything else simply because of me not letting things affect me… no. I am if anything, more able to enjoy what goes on in my life. So what is the rub here?
There is a school of thought, a very old one, that states that you should be patient, impartial, steady and loyal, but, and I am paraphrasing here "neither quick to anger nor quick to reaction." I think the essence here is to not let anything have a greater affect on you than what you would want it to. I apply these tenets to my life. Although I will have my detractors… everyone does… no one can say that I don't care, when I do, that I don't try, when I feel I should, and that I don't love, when you are the one that I decide I could. I do everything pure… and for this life… I always will.
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