The letter I never wrote
I smiled a very different smile today. I smiled because I was with you. Let me take that back a little.
Yesterday was awesome. I never let loose. Well... not in that way. Sure... I am a creature of fire, natural chaos... all that jazz. Sure. I can wow my buddies with some good times and sure, we all have fun. But... I never cut loose. But, these last few weeks, you have been awesome. You keep telling me I am sexy. You keep telling me I am wonderful. You look at me and I wonder why you are looking at me that way. I make jokes... you laugh. We go places and do things... and I really enjoy myself. Really.
So... I let loose. You got to see a side of me... well... no one has seen that side of me. I have changed so much since the last time I was... well... vulnerable. Yeah I know... that word doesn't usually apply to me... but with you... I feel I can. I hope that is alright. I don't regret my time with you. Actually I am somewhat... unsure of myself when it comes to that. I know what I can do. I know what I did do. But... it is always so different for everyone. And I am different with you.
I like you. Let me take that back.
I don't like girls. Not like this. I say I don't but not in an absolute way. It is in a... historical way. I hide... or should I say, I conceal everything I would ever feel. I don't like being hurt. I don't like being vulnerable. I don't like being... well... human. I like being untouchable. I like being independent. I like being... me. But... you let me be all those things... while I am with you. So... I love that. If loving someone is enjoying them, enjoying being around them, enjoying their company and their conversation, and wanting that for yourself... then maybe... maybe I love you.
Sometimes I surprise myself... but maybe this time I surprised you
No comments:
Post a Comment