Punishment

original posting: 16 March 2007

the rune of punishment
there is no telling what could have happened in your life if you would have done one thing, instead of another... or gone one direction with someone instead of someone else.
you ever mourn something that happened in your life... knowing you can never correct it? would it not be the greatest sin to not try to correct something now... that you know you haven't?
for those of you close to me, you know i have been struggling internally for a couple months now. many of you know about my 'inner demons' and my 'eternal rage'. i am beset quite frequently by twin emotions of hate and love, malice and compassion.  i am by no means trying to rid myself of one of the things that is so unique and entertaining about my personality, but, in certain thing in particular, it has nagged at me for quite some time.
i found forgiveness today. in myself and in another. i cannot say how much of a relief that is but i can tell you... if you want to make things right with someone... do it. otherwise... you will end up regretting being so stubborn or full of pride. even if they slap you in the face, your honest attempt is all the redemption you need.
 no, i didn't get a slap in the face. indeed, my attonement was met with genuine warmth and compassion. i was reminded that we are all human and we all make mistakes. i am just glad mine was not so permanent that it could not be forgiven.
if you read this, you know who you are. sometimes second chances are better than the first...